As I start to spiral, I’m never really sure if it was initiated from the outside or within. I’m too busy trying to stop the progression to pinpoint the exact source. Perhaps this seems problematic as if finding the source would let me solve the problem faster. Maybe that’s true but I can’t help but find it less and less worrisome that it has remained unsolved. The way I see it, the outside is just a reflection of what’s within, and changing one can affect the other. I find what feels like the most manageable place to tackle the problem and start there, knowing it will ripple.
Dark Figure
Dark figure
in the corner,
looming over.
Pulling, pressure,
in my head
at the top.
Loud sirens
heard in everything
when I’m anywhere.
I’m dropping
anything but
my guard now.
I’m not afraid
to let anyone
but my guard down.
White light,
protecting space,
to keep me safe.
I don’t run,
I command.
Get out.
I’ve got neighbors
thinking I’m crazy.
I shout.
At the demons
in my closet,
in the corner,
in the bathroom,
in my head.
Windows open,
everyone hears
as I call to them.
Leave me alone
dark figure.
I’m facing my fears.
Now we’re moving
to the next room,
the next wound.
I’m sorry,
dark figure,
I’m here now.
There’s no space
for you.
Much love, until next time.
Madeline May I... 