There is a time and a place. I would never… well, okay, maybe situationally. Never before have I…
It seems like the more resistance I give to life and what it has to offer, the more I find myself in situations where I am proving myself wrong. As I pull on a sweatshirt with the neck cut out, I begin explaining my aversion to things touching my neck before the word Flashdance could form in his mouth. When our eyes meet as I say it, I smile and follow it with “situationally” in an attempt to keep this honesty streak going.
Choke
Arguably the scariest thing about choking has to be the way something can so easily take your words or breath away when you least expect it.
Standing on stage, you can’t even see the fear that creeps in and snatches the words right from your lips as you think they’re pouring out.
What we can’t see is often what creeps into our minds to haunt our dreams, where we test our solutions.
Solution one, reverse roles – embarrass the audience.
This is where you learn the trick of picturing everyone in their underwear.
Am I the only person whose mind can overthink its way out of doing simple tasks?
It’s the only thing I can think to ask myself as I consider the possibility that my attempt to daintily eat my dinner might be the death of me if I actually choke right now.
Solution two, imagine situations – eat like you’re with friends.
Rarely do we realize just how transferable our skills are to new environments.
Do you also see the parallels between turtlenecks, scarves, and being strangled?
There is something unsettling about my neck being surrounded by anything.
Call it paranoia but I’m so sure it makes me an easy target to take out – just one swift tug and too many unaccounted for variable walking around.
Solution three, face your fears – hand over control.
Arguably, the scariest thing about choking has to be the way someone can so easily take your words or breath away when you least expect it.
I’ve never choked on my words the way I do following your breathy “what?“.
Never have I ever felt so powerless with such gentle pressure on my throat.
I’m not sure how you pull a reaction out of me the moment you do that, every time, without fail.
I am absolutely positive, though, that each time I close my eyes and tilt my head back all I want to do is give in.
Each time my breath gets caught on an inhale, the exchange of control is strictly mental but I seem to lose control over everything physical.
Arguably, the scariest thing about choking has to be the way you make it seem safe. That, my love, is a dangerous game to play.
Much love, until next time.
Madeline May I... 