We’re always circling back to lessons, relearning from previous experiences. I wonder if sometimes that’s why I feel so out of place in the present day. Maybe I’m revisiting, relearning. It’s the only thing I can think to tell myself, sometimes, to keep from feeling like I’m going crazy.
Missplace
Where am I
Sometimes I forget
I’ve covered a lot of ground
over the last few years
I wake up
so sure it’s an April day
10 years earlier
disoriented
by the apartment I’m in
briefly I don’t remember it
snap back to the present
my son’s voice creeps in
I don’t remember
how much space I take
my body used to be bigger
a jacket
can reel be back in
my boyfriend offers his up
I never dress for the weather
and I never put his on
I forget I’ll fit
and I don’t want to try
only to be embarassed
stepping out my front door
I forget I’m not in college
walking the halls of my dorm
I’m still asking
who let me be out on my own
I don’t remember
my age, sometimes not my name
Where am I?
I don’t feel like I’m present
Where am I going?
When I’m lost in the past
it’s mostly emotion
reminding me, again
I’m falling back into the motions.
Much love, until next time.
Madeline May I... 