My apartment is safe, I’m not being watched. This isn’t a case of paranoia so much as an awareness of just how under-observation we are anytime we’re out there in the world. In my apartment, though, I’m free to be unapologetically me without interruption.
In my apartment the window is cracked, snow blowing in and melting as it descends towards the radiator. If someone was over, anyone other than my boyfriend, the snow wouldn’t be blowing in. It’s the silliest things that scare me still, like people seeing just how magical I think the world is. I’m still working on letting out that much truth as it arises.
My World
I like to do the things
that command attention
while imagining
myself invisible –
picture singing, dancing,
to music that’s not there.
I want everyone to see
how exciting, enjoyable
life can really be
but I want to enjoy
undisturbed.
At the store
I’m in my own world.
I run, abort mission
anytime I see a face
that might recognize me.
Never is fleeing rooted
in a distaste for someone
but rather in preserving
the world in my head
that revolves around,
involves only,
me.
Much love, until next time.
Madeline May I... 