In the car on the way home from the zoo, I was talking to my son about the importance of following dreams and not letting fear of what people might think to hold us back from them. When he asked me what I wanted to be at his age, eight, I blanked. I don’t remember eight, hardly at all. The last time I remember being sure of wanting to be something when I grow up, though, was when I was sitting across from my English teacher explaining how I just wanted to write and make art all the time.
From the outside looking in, maybe I haven’t figured out how to successfully be or do either of those but right now, I’m the closest I’ve ever been and I feel myself creeping closer, daily.
No Competition
To win slow and steady
but I’m not thinkin’ it’s a race
Without competition, already heavy
so I go at my own pace
Watch where I’m stepping
not on bugs, save the slugs
you think I’m trippin’
that’s a jump, yeah I jump
Get down, get right back up
You think I’m lost, mess
stuck in a rut, I’m getting up
At any cost, won’t suppress
All this time with these thoughts
stuck in my head, I’m in my head
lay in bed, got me feelin’ already dead
but in my head, no I’m not stressed
Making plans to jump back up again
Out my head, into the light
finally ready to see some friends
get knocked down, it’s part of life
But don’t gotta fight, I don’t fight
Still winning wars, overnight
Doing what’s right, self in line
Showin’ self-love, don’t gotta fight
Cause these demons, they inside
Fightin yourself, you never win
deep breath, let it out, go within
Cause it won’t feel right
Pushing out all the feelings
trapped in your mind, belong inside
but not the way, not how you hide
So slow and steady, but it’s no race
Enough of these wars shoved in my face
Done competing, now I’m leading
My own life with grace, my pace
World’s heavy but I’m lightening it, babe.
Much love, until next time.
Madeline May I... 