The other day, I spent some time sitting in my dad’s truck talking to him about creating, art, and different projects we were working on. He was there so I could sell him a gift card because my only what’s for me approach to life means sometimes I’m piecing things together day by day as I recommit daily to only making time and space for the things that fill me. The positive conversation was so welcome, though. I was so happy to hear how much time he had spent creating – I really think he needs that.
At some point he told me he was glad to hear that when I create things, I don’t look to see how it should be done first, I just do what feels right. That’s what he liked to do to do but was always hard on himself and thought he was doing it wrong, he confessed. The truth is, none of us know what we’re doing. I believe more in wrong for us than I do absolute wrong. The problem is that if we’re quick to judge everyone else and what they do, we assume the same is being done to us and jump to do it first before anyone else chimes in.
I love you the most when your you-ness is shining through. I hope when you’re ready, I’ll see him more.
Adult
You tell me what you think it means
to be an adult
as if I’m not
an adult
doing it right
don’t worry, I’m not
doing it right
an adult
only by my standards
my happiness
is soaring, skyrocketing
I tell you that I understand
where you’re coming from
maybe not exactly
but I’ve been there
scared
you say you’re not
before describing
fear
of loss
of abandonment
of not being accepted
of being unworthy
of being judged
of ruffling feathers
of being misunderstood
of being more trouble than good
I’ve felt them all
from you
before I knew
it meant I was becoming
too
much like the rest
families, friends
we become what we allow
I won’t allow
my standards, my happiness
to not be enough
for me
as an adult
maybe you’ll understand
but maybe, for you
being an adult
means you won’t
Much love, until next time.
Madeline May I... 