I keep promising myself no judgment but it’s hard when I watch my over-ambitious plans be patched together and then come crumbling apart as soon as they get close. Sometimes it’s situational, out of my control, but sometimes I’m backing out, feeling out of control.
I promised myself a conversation this week, it didn’t happen. I backed out. I leaned into unplanned hard things, though. I accomplished without overthinking and now I remind myself that plans rarely work out the way that we intend for them to – often things can be much better if we’re open to them. This week I’m going to celebrate those victories rather than hiding in the same of the words, temporarily, unsaid.
Shame
Our shame is too heavy to keep carrying –
time to lay it down, unpack.
I’ve been called scary, one time too many,
and never the times when I was trying.
My attempt at unapproachable, conversation starter.
Only after I softened, lowered my walls,
finally uncovered my truth, I’m scary.
I haven’t heard it in at least a few months
but I’m still scared of me, waiting –
I’m sure someone else will see it too.
Maybe I’m not the fear they saw, though.
Constantly seeing reflections,
can you see how scary it is
to just be yourself in a world that constantly
pushes you
to become the same, just like
everyone else.
This shame is too heavy to keep carrying,
I’m ready. Are you ready?
Much love, until next time.
Madeline May I... 