Sometimes I have doubts about my compatibility with people, ongoing. I’m continually returning to relationships, experiences, revisiting the question of, for me? I had the same best friend since high school and recently I wondered if we started going down different paths, I faced fear of loss something serious.
When I fell in love, caught off guard, and it threw my meaning of best friend for a loop, fear crept in harder. I sat with fear for a few weeks, maybe months, and slowly grieved her. No, I didn’t grieve the way 13 years of friendship deserves to be grieved, but I let go.
After letting go, I found the courage to stop by for a visit, without expectation. Maybe the grief was just you shifting from my number one best friend to runner up because when I told you my theory on meant to be scars, it definitely felt like you’re still for me. Thank you for loving me as I change, grow, I love you.
Scars
Did you know that our scars line up?
The ones we can’t explain, here.
You say a past life, I’m sold.
I see a cast-iron fence,
I hear a gunshot –
I can’t place them in my memory.
I know the two people present,
I can’t place them in my life,
at least not this time around.
It sounds insignificant
to say we’re the same,
I think we all are.
I think we’re the same enough,
mirrored,
that maybe you remember too.
I want to ask,
but how do I explain asking,
do you remember this, too?
Much love, until next time.
Madeline May I... 