I have the hardest time telling people that I plan to take care of myself. I’ve gotten to the point where I can do it when I’m alone but in the company of others, sometimes it feels like an inconvenience. Sometimes, taking care of myself makes me feel like I’m less fun, not cool. Always, I hope they still love me when I’m less fun, less cool. Now, I have to decide that loving myself is enough if they don’t.
Sacral Blocks
encourage me to create
curb my sexual dysfunctions
misplaced urges
to fill the not enough-ness
void inside
developed as a child
addictions
attempts at fixing
drugs are a different choice
set them down, walk away
sexually
I’m not walking away
in relationships
there’s a place
in relationships
it disgusts me
when it starts leaking out
misplaced
sexual energy
destruction
to feed, rather than fill
not enough-ness
but sacral
orange
move your hips
release your energy
I like when it’s in me
but learning to accept
it’s not mine
nothing is
but everything lives
inside me,
you
Much love, until next time.
Madeline May I... 