I went through a lot to get to where I am sexually. I’m not even talking about a lot of sexual activity, but I’d be lying if I said there weren’t phases where that’s how I tackled the “getting through”. What I mean is, there was a point in time when I realized I had been in a relationship for nearly three years and had only ever once been naked in front of the person. This doesn’t mean that it was a sexless relationship but just that I was so uncomfortable with sex, sexuality, and myself that the only things uncovered were the things that needed to be.
Now, I’m still ashamed to be talking about sexuality, it’s still hard for me to own in a healthy way, but I approach sex with love rather than control and I am able to almost always brave being naked. Sometimes this sort of private growth makes us feel alone because it’s so hard to stand up and shout from the rooftops “I can finally take my clothes off” in the same way that you’d yell that you got your dream job, or are engaged, or whatever other traditional accomplishment that crosses your path. These are the ones that you should be the proudest of though – the ones you did so you could be a healthier, happier you.
Savoring Sexuality
I like that he never goes to shower after sex
The waterfall that cascaded over his hips starts to dry
Out of the corner of my eye, I watch him soften
shrink back up his leg, leaving a trail of my moisture in his path
His expression as he plays, diving his fingers in, slowly backing out
Brief pause before a geyser erupts around them
Immediately, he buries his face like he’s not afraid of drowning
When he kisses me and his lips taste sweet
I drip more because he smells like me
I like that he’s not rushing from one thing to the next
It’s so sexy how he takes his time – in and out of bed
Much love, until next time.
Madeline May I... 