It’s hard to not want to be further along in the growth process than we are once we can see the way the emotions we are dealing with are taking their toll on us. The thing is, if we were further along in the growth process than this we wouldn’t even have that train of thinking. There’s such importance to every feeling, every emotion, every step we’re taking. We can’t skip anything and the truth is, there would really be no benefit to it. There is no rush to constantly get to the next place. Focus on where you’re at and what you’re feeling.
Confused Growth
I’m not sure if there is more anger present when I see him hurt himself
or when I feel him hurt me.
I’m proud of this and sure, maybe it doesn’t sound like I should be proud
of being confused, not being sure.
But I used to be more sure that other people’s hurt far exceeded my own
maybe not in magnitude but definitely in importance.
I imagine the confusion is the same that a caterpillar feels,
turning into goo, trapped inside a cocoon.
Do souls stuck in purgatory even know what’s on the other side,
why they are enduring torture?
Babies form from a clump of cells into a conscious being.
I can’t help but think that there has to be a moment, some state of confusion
before they get a grasp on what is going on.
So I’m proud of my confusion because the world, the patterns in nature,
they show us that confusion, the unknown, are right before something incredible happens.
I’m sticking through the confusion, counting on my incredible to pull through.
I need you now more than ever before.
So I say I can’t talk because I’m angry and I don’t even feel ashamed of the feeling.
I wear it like a badge of honor, an indicator of achievement.
This is brand new, never before seen, I’m standing up for myself
and I finally mean it.
Madeline May I... 