I have this theory that our constant communication culture has led to a validation epidemic of problematic proportions. Call in the egos, they’re begging to be seen. Posting videos, status updates, and pictures that don’t even present the truth because they’re so focused on the ideal – just desperately hoping they will be seen… and loved. Only even when they’re loved, it’s never fulfilling anymore because there was no transparency, no truth in the facade they desperately felt the need to put on.
We live in this world that thrives off of validation, likes, approval, fame, and acceptance yet we’re not even putting our real selves out there to be accepted so it only ever feeds this continual need for self-acceptance. We ignore it and then wonder how people who have it made, from the outside looking in, off themselves. It takes courage to take that urge and go off by yourself, breaking away from the stream of validation to recalibrate and come back as yourself. It takes even more courage to stick to yourself when you find that those same people won’t be your people when you’re not seeking validation like everyone else. But change is okay. A new environment is just new, not bad. Often the best things happen when we are pushing ourselves outside of our comfort zone – exploring the unfamiliar. It’s just a matter of ignoring the ego’s shouts to pull you back down.
Plant Wisdom
We are so fixed on this idea of keeping people around
As if letting go of a person is a form of betrayal
As if a person’s presence in the worst stages of your life
entitles them to a lifetime membership, unlimited access
But consent is not ongoing, it’s not an open-ended concept or agreement
Sometimes holding on to a person is a form of betrayal
Both to the them that you promised you cared so deeply about
And to the self that you’re finally learning to care so deeply about
Every few months I take a picture of the plants I’ve kept alive
Only when I go back to look at their baby pictures do I notice their growth
As winter started rolling in, the window sill they sat upon started frosting
And I know my plants can’t survive the bitter cold, so I gave them a new home
Rehomed to a shelf, the most light in this room,
by the radiator, still a cool window breeze
Sometimes I wonder if my plants miss their old sill despite how frigid it turned in the end
Sometimes, I miss some of the things that turned frigid in the end.
Sometimes, I wonder if letting go was a betrayal to the us that said we’d always be there
Sometimes, I’m angry and I wish they were still here
But then I pull out the baby pictures – of the plants, of the past, of relationships
I pull out the baby pictures and immediately I see the growth
Had I left the plants on the window sill, they would have froze
Had I not wiped out the numbers, I might have regressed when I picked up the phone
And I couldn’t keep accepting the calls that were meant for me at my worst
But it’s infuriating because I want to show my progress,
how I’ve picked myself up out of the dirt
I want someone who knew me to see me and not feel like they know me
But I’ve moved to a new room and it’s warmer here
I can see the bigger picture, sitting up on this shelf
There’s a new perspective
Sometimes, usually, always – letting go makes room for something else
I think about my plants
I don’t think they miss their window sill or wish they could show it how much they’ve grown
They’re thriving in their corner, letting a new window blow out patterns of breeze
Now their leaves can finally dance without worrying they will freeze
And maybe it’s time for my chance
To grow into who I’m going to be.
Much love, until next time.
Madeline May I... 