I haven’t slept properly in days. In pregnancy time, that sleep deprivation feels like weeks. Add on to that the fact that, save for yesterday, I spent the 2 days before that packed full of morning to evening cooking – 3 weeks of food stashed safely in the freezer so the last thing I have to think about is what we’re going to eat. We are now at almost a month of not sleeping and I can barely keep my eyes open. I contemplate the barely 10-minute walk to therapy but the contemplation is more than enough to weigh my eyelids down. Have you ever tried to walk with eyelids you can’t keep open? Goodnight.
Cancellation
Sometimes I cancel therapy
on account of a mental health day
It sounds counterproductive
My vocalized reason for cancelling –
I’m not feeling well, I can’t make it in today.
I tell myself she’d be proud of me if she knew the truth
1. My body is signalling a need for rest, and I’m trusting it.
2. Listening to my body and providing what it needs is self care.
3. I’m not outsourcing the need for validation on what’s best for myself – I already know, even if it looks a little funny from the outside perspective.
4. I understand and practice the knowing that I don’t have to over-explain myself as an apology for cancelling.
I could keep listing reasons on how cancelling this appointment is a sign of growth, but I won’t
Because honestly, it doesn’t matter.
She’ll never even know.
Much love, until next time.
Madeline May I... 