I’m trying to remind myself as people emerge from the past that the me they miss is dead. The dead can not respond to an email, not to a text. I’d be an imposter if I responded back. I’m not who they’re looking for, they don’t miss me, they miss the boundaries she lacked.
Secrets
No doesn’t mean no
it just means to hide it
now I’ve got a body too big
overflowing secrets held inside it
not my secrets to keep
but I’ve still kept them quiet
secrets done to me
as my protests are silenced
No doesn’t mean no
it just means to hide it
but that’s a shitty belief
where did you find it?
On a little boys porch
coaxed to show him my privates
In my big brother’s room
I was only a child
Next to a hospital bed
as I lay inside it
I thought it was a friend’s house
can’t trust who I confide in
No doesn’t mean no
it just means to hide it
Still a shitty belief
Turned to self-inflicted gaslighting
I don’t want to believe it
Considering leaving it behind
But what about the secrets?
Can they come out of hiding?
Much love, until next time.
Madeline May I... 