Poetry Series – I’m learning too

I want to call it impossibly difficult to trust, truly trust, that you’ve got all of the answers inside of you. Then when my boyfriend says I’m right, I say “I know” and for a moment I believe that I already know the truth. I don’t know what the truth is, but I believe you know it too. Maybe it’s forgotten, but it’s somewhere, maybe buried, inside of you.

I’m Learning Too

I’m learning to
hold on, pause


So I can calm my reaction
Before I respond
To quiet the part
that handles things wrong
to be honest with myself
about what’s going on

I’m learning to (clapping),
(silence) hold the applause


make sure I’m genuine
before cheering you on
make sure I support you
before joining along
remember I’m authentic
instead of trying you on

I’m learning too
All through my life
each moment feels new
And I’m unlearning too
All the pain I’ve been handed,
gathered, dished and drew.

The lesson’s not through.
Always circling back
A walk in new shoes
New glasses, perspective
Same situation, new view
What should I do?

I keep asking the silence
while my mind runs loops
I feel crazy too
Talking to no one, talking to you
I don’t know who
but I trust in the answers
I believe that they’re true

So what do I do?
Sit in the silence, waiting for truth
No answers came through
I’m learning too
and sometimes learning
means biting forbidden fruit

I’ve made mistakes too
Mistakes, they’re just lesson
with a negative view
Picking apart, played back in review
But as a new you
The lesson you learned
already distorting your view
can’t see the truth
of who you were at the time,
without judging it too.

When unlearning’s through,
Will I still pause when I’m talking?

Tell me, what will I do?
Since I’m asking these questions,
keep outsourcing my actions to you
don’t worry, I know,
I’ve still got learning, unlearning, to do.

Much love, until next time.