I’ve been thinking a lot about “pain tolerance” lately and the things we accept as “enough” when we really are looking for love. Let this serve as resolution that I am officially unable to water-down my wants for anyone. Whether I have been asked, expected, or volunteered… this is my immediate notice that I am done.
Love (Hurts?)
If love must hurt
Hit me over the head
And let me forget
Everything before this.
I want wounds so fresh
There’s no scar tissue yet.
I want the history of my body
Rewritten in my memory
So I may stomach touch gently
Without flinching
So caresses are caresses and not shadows hovering in the dark corners I’ve been hit in.
I want sex built upon consent.
Every miracle conceived through resounding “yes”
brought to a peak then fearlessly released.
I want my only screams to be orgasms breaking free.
If love must hurt,
I want the hurt to happen presently
I want to be gifted with the ability to feel all of it
Without filtering through every disappointment I’ve met and let in.
I need these to be new lessons instead of lessening myself to staying in the same experiences
out of fear of all that I have yet get.
If love must hurt,
I’m ready to risk everything.
The worst thing we think we can be is dead..
And why?
So people can argue over the specifics or the words used in remembrance?
I’m ready to commit my life to living so fully I am not pulled by the division before me.
I love you.
Even when it hurts,
I choose this mission.
If love must hurt,
I guess there’s no better reason
To be bleeding.
Wait wait wait…
I’ve got a question!
Truth or dare?
Knew it! Ok – dare!
I dare you to believe
Love
Is a complete feeling. Releasing hurt,
it becomes freeing.
If love must hurt,
you must be speaking of
a different world
than I choose to be in.
Yes, I said its a choice..
And I mean it.
Much love, until next time.
Madeline May I... 