Payge Gray

Poetry Series – Growing Pains

Nothing will be a greater test of our character than how we choose to respond when we’re in pain. I grew an attachment to the phrase, the day I read John Green’s words “That’s the thing about pain. It demands to be felt”. There is no escaping it, no running. Sometimes we delay it butContinue reading “Poetry Series – Growing Pains”

Poetry Series – Give Up Itch

I’ve been giving in a lot more than I’d like to admit. Honestly, it’s why I know I have to have patience with the situations I’m in, the information I’m discovering. People are rarely as perfect as they seem and if we hold them to those expectations, they’ll explode at the seams. Sometimes I’m theContinue reading “Poetry Series – Give Up Itch”

Poetry Series – Thank You, Love

I’m still learning how to let myself be loved. I know we’re all born with the ability, such a super-power, but so many of us lose it along the way. I’m working on recovering my powers. I think of my relationships as rehab for the soul. I’ve let a lot of people love me inContinue reading “Poetry Series – Thank You, Love”

Poetry Series – Warm Death

I find it comical in so many ways that I still ever have the nerve to say I actively practice letting go. Take a look at the last decade of personal relationships and you’ll catch this pattern of detaching but never really letting go. Stay just present enough to be relevant in their life, theirContinue reading “Poetry Series – Warm Death”

Poetry Series – Window Diver

Do you wonder if people think the same unspeakable things that you do? I do. Both wonder and also probably think them. Maybe not exactly but I think we all think thoughts of a horrifying nature – the ones so bad you keep them tucked away, demonizing yourself because how could you think that, it’sContinue reading “Poetry Series – Window Diver”

Poetry Series – Irving, Losing My Mind

I didn’t notice I was slipping until – I’m ready to hang myself – slipped into my mind without warning. I didn’t know I was distant until I stopped recognizing the person sitting next to me. When he reassures me and asks if I know that I can talk to him about anything that’s botheringContinue reading “Poetry Series – Irving, Losing My Mind”

Poetry Series – Hello, Demons

I had to leave my boyfriend a 5-page letter explaining that I’m having a hard time, don’t know how to be open about it and how he can help “de-escalate” me when I’m withdrawing and disassociating. Okay, I didn’t HAVE to but I either needed to do it or I was going to self-sabotage theContinue reading “Poetry Series – Hello, Demons”

Poetry Series – Unified Silence

I don’t know what it means to get bored anymore. Maybe put me in isolation and the stillness, silence, will finally drive me over the edge but anything short of that is so welcome right now. I only want to live somewhere big enough that I can find a room in the house where IContinue reading “Poetry Series – Unified Silence”

Poetry Series – Walking Out

I’ve been in a writing funk for a while now and really what that means is that I have a backlog of stuff that I haven’t allowed an outlet for but desperately need out. The world has been changing, a lot has been happening and with the weight of the chaos, I am even moreContinue reading “Poetry Series – Walking Out”

Poetry Series – Too Fat

I’ve always been prone to nightmares but they seem to creep in the most when my waking life feels like it’s at its best. One moment I applaud myself for not taking things too personally, not projecting the past, and allowing myself to eat when I want to eat without telling myself I’m not worthy.Continue reading “Poetry Series – Too Fat”