Payge Gray

Poetry Series – Disorderly

I’ve spent a little chunk of time delving into the topics of shame and vulnerability, sitting with the ideas, and seeing what’s surfaced. A lot has surfaced. There’s a lot ready to come out and be healed from as soon as we give ourselves the time and space to be present with it. I’m stillContinue reading “Poetry Series – Disorderly”

Poetry Series – Sarah

I’ve reached a point where I’m halted. There’s this brick wall of shame, guilt, and fear that I desperately need to smash down. Shame is connected to who we are, guilt is connected to what we do, and fear is connected to what’s to come. Brick by brick, confession by confession, taking the time toContinue reading “Poetry Series – Sarah”

Relation-ship

In relation to a ship, I’m ready to jump, always. I’m used to the flow of not knowing what to expect. The water will pull me to the next place as long as I’m not tethered to this structure. I hear structure is good, though. I hear we need stability in our life. Coach. CoachContinue reading “Relation-ship”

Faces

The faces in the reflections are never the same faces as in the trees, clouds, leaves. The faces in the reflections are always looking back, looking at me, emotion heavily present across their face but the faces aren’t me. Reflections aren’t just for mirrors. I see them in the windows, on the shiny surface ofContinue reading “Faces”

Writing

Not writing feels like lying, even if only by omission. Not writing feels like I’m hiding. Have you ever played hide and seek with someone that’s terrible at seeking? Hiding parts of yourself. You get bored. Stir crazy. You start moving around, peeking around the corner of the barricade to see if they’re even close.Continue reading “Writing”

Poetry Series – Constants

Everything is changing and it’s leaving me feeling like I’m losing my mind. It’s like life is running faster than I can keep up with and all I can do is slow down even more and watch. I look around and wonder how everyone else is doing it? Is everyone else falling apart behind closedContinue reading “Poetry Series – Constants”

Poetry Series – Noses

I find that in the moments of my greatest instability, I am brought back almost always by my ability to find the simple experiences in life I can hold on to. When I remember that it’s important to breathe deeply as I let my body heal, I fixate and a rush of all of theContinue reading “Poetry Series – Noses”

Poetry Series – Cemetary Lessons

I get embarrassed to admit just how much I ignored what I wanted out of life anytime anyone else was present. I was afraid to leave the house alone when in relationships because I never wanted to make anyone feel like I was abandoning them by needing time for myself. The thing is, though, IContinue reading “Poetry Series – Cemetary Lessons”

Poetry Series – Breakfast Interruptions

I remember hearing or reading somewhere that our dreams can only show us things, people, and faces we’ve been exposed to in real life. Your mind can’t just create a new face to represent a person in your dream. I’ve gotten used to seeing half blurred faces, ones I can’t remember or picture again. SoContinue reading “Poetry Series – Breakfast Interruptions”

Poetry Series – Potatoes

Since my miscarriage, every time I cry I have dramatically yelled at my boyfriend that it’s all over the fucking potatoes. He laughs, I laugh, and the crying stops for a minute. It doesn’t fully go away until it’s been unburied, let out, carefully addressed. When I cry and potatoes come to mind, I plantContinue reading “Poetry Series – Potatoes”