Payge Gray

Faces

The faces in the reflections are never the same faces as in the trees, clouds, leaves. The faces in the reflections are always looking back, looking at me, emotion heavily present across their face but the faces aren’t me. Reflections aren’t just for mirrors. I see them in the windows, on the shiny surface ofContinue reading “Faces”

Writing

Not writing feels like lying, even if only by omission. Not writing feels like I’m hiding. Have you ever played hide and seek with someone that’s terrible at seeking? Hiding parts of yourself. You get bored. Stir crazy. You start moving around, peeking around the corner of the barricade to see if they’re even close.Continue reading “Writing”

Poetry Series – Constants

Everything is changing and it’s leaving me feeling like I’m losing my mind. It’s like life is running faster than I can keep up with and all I can do is slow down even more and watch. I look around and wonder how everyone else is doing it? Is everyone else falling apart behind closedContinue reading “Poetry Series – Constants”

Poetry Series – Noses

I find that in the moments of my greatest instability, I am brought back almost always by my ability to find the simple experiences in life I can hold on to. When I remember that it’s important to breathe deeply as I let my body heal, I fixate and a rush of all of theContinue reading “Poetry Series – Noses”

Poetry Series – Cemetary Lessons

I get embarrassed to admit just how much I ignored what I wanted out of life anytime anyone else was present. I was afraid to leave the house alone when in relationships because I never wanted to make anyone feel like I was abandoning them by needing time for myself. The thing is, though, IContinue reading “Poetry Series – Cemetary Lessons”

Poetry Series – Breakfast Interruptions

I remember hearing or reading somewhere that our dreams can only show us things, people, and faces we’ve been exposed to in real life. Your mind can’t just create a new face to represent a person in your dream. I’ve gotten used to seeing half blurred faces, ones I can’t remember or picture again. SoContinue reading “Poetry Series – Breakfast Interruptions”

Poetry Series – Potatoes

Since my miscarriage, every time I cry I have dramatically yelled at my boyfriend that it’s all over the fucking potatoes. He laughs, I laugh, and the crying stops for a minute. It doesn’t fully go away until it’s been unburied, let out, carefully addressed. When I cry and potatoes come to mind, I plantContinue reading “Poetry Series – Potatoes”

Poetry Series – My Body

Guys, I’m fucking tired. I’m tired of the world, the pain, the grasping for control instead of focusing on our own lives. I’ve got to start speaking up if I want to see change but speaking up gets hard when you’ve been told your entire life that you need to change. My Body I wasContinue reading “Poetry Series – My Body”

Poetry Series – What do you want from me?

I haven’t been the most productive person, and I’m sure I haven’t even been the most present, but my presence in the moment is magnitudes more frequent than it’s been in as long as i can remember. For me, this is an achievement. For me, this is what matters in life. I’m sitting on theContinue reading “Poetry Series – What do you want from me?”

Poetry Series – Letter to My Hurting Son

I’m not always the perfect mom and that’s not just my mom guilt talking, I just think it’s impossible to ever truly be the perfect mom. If we were perfect we wouldn’t be human, learning. Sometimes I think I’ve been a far less perfect mom than at other times, though. The thing I’m most proudContinue reading “Poetry Series – Letter to My Hurting Son”