Poetry Series – Knocked Down

I’m starting to realize that I spent so many years insisting on solitude because I was tired of hurting people, tired of trying to catch myself before I did, and frustrated that I never seemed aware that it happened until it was in retrospect. I still enjoy more than my share of solitude. When I’mContinue reading “Poetry Series – Knocked Down”

Poetry Series – Flame

I think back to my adoration of just about anyone and realize that one of the things that drew me to them was the ways in which they would challenge me. I remember explaining to my therapist that breakups weren’t really a big deal for me, even some of the more major ones, because asContinue reading “Poetry Series – Flame”

Poetry Series – Winter is Coming

I started getting signs before I knew that they were signs. Even now as I get them, if I try to figure out what they mean, I almost never do. I need to step back and look at the world around me, and the situations I’m in for what they are without the emotional attachmentContinue reading “Poetry Series – Winter is Coming”

Poetry Series – The Devil is in Church

I wait until my boyfriend is trapped in the car with me, on a longer-than-I-thought drive to breakfast, following my impulses, before I decide to tell him the story about where I was two nights before. Looking back, the whole thing sounds like a setup for one of those bad jokes – you know theContinue reading “Poetry Series – The Devil is in Church”

Poetry Series – Hurt Hurts

This feels silly to admit but I don’t think anyone has ever apologized to me before. I mean yeah, people have told me they’re sorry after I point something out but I don’t think anyone has ever come to be me and said “Hey, look, I see that I did you wrong. I’m sorry. YouContinue reading “Poetry Series – Hurt Hurts”

Poetry Series – Savoring Sexuality

I went through a lot to get to where I am sexually. I’m not even talking about a lot of sexual activity, but I’d be lying if I said there weren’t phases where that’s how I tackled the “getting through”. What I mean is, there was a point in time when I realized I hadContinue reading “Poetry Series – Savoring Sexuality”

Poetry Series – Glass

Four hours earlier, I’m stubbornly insisting that I can handle the process alone, that I’m ready. I assured anyone that would listen, to my thoughts at least, that I didn’t need to see anyone to have them fix what I’m going through. I’m fully capable of maneuvering the dark waters myself. I didn’t think ofContinue reading “Poetry Series – Glass”

Poetry Series – Old Self

There’s irony in writing a poem about rifling through old feelings as I’m sitting here trying to work my way through past, repressed, feelings. I hang onto the idea that there’s a difference between finally feeling what you’ve never actually felt and indulging in memories to escape from the present. Old Self I thought IContinue reading “Poetry Series – Old Self”

Poetry Series – Lightning

A psychiatrist once explained to me that when you’re having trouble falling back asleep, one of the worst things you can do is stay in bed tossing and turning. Get up, make a cup of tea, read a book, stretch. Whatever you do, don’t lay in bed and let your mind fester. After a littleContinue reading “Poetry Series – Lightning”

Poetry Series – Rebirth

Have you ever looked back on life and realized that you’ve grown so much you don’t even recognize the version of yourself that would make the decisions you did? Accept the behaviors that you tolerated? I still have trouble sometimes finding the ability to understand that past versions of myself, to have compassion for her.Continue reading “Poetry Series – Rebirth”