Poetry Series – Window Diver

Do you wonder if people think the same unspeakable things that you do? I do. Both wonder and also probably think them. Maybe not exactly but I think we all think thoughts of a horrifying nature – the ones so bad you keep them tucked away, demonizing yourself because how could you think that, it’sContinue reading “Poetry Series – Window Diver”

Poetry Series – Irving, Losing My Mind

I didn’t notice I was slipping until – I’m ready to hang myself – slipped into my mind without warning. I didn’t know I was distant until I stopped recognizing the person sitting next to me. When he reassures me and asks if I know that I can talk to him about anything that’s botheringContinue reading “Poetry Series – Irving, Losing My Mind”

Poetry Series – Hello, Demons

I had to leave my boyfriend a 5-page letter explaining that I’m having a hard time, don’t know how to be open about it and how he can help “de-escalate” me when I’m withdrawing and disassociating. Okay, I didn’t HAVE to but I either needed to do it or I was going to self-sabotage theContinue reading “Poetry Series – Hello, Demons”

Poetry Series – Walking Out

I’ve been in a writing funk for a while now and really what that means is that I have a backlog of stuff that I haven’t allowed an outlet for but desperately need out. The world has been changing, a lot has been happening and with the weight of the chaos, I am even moreContinue reading “Poetry Series – Walking Out”

Poetry Series – Too Fat

I’ve always been prone to nightmares but they seem to creep in the most when my waking life feels like it’s at its best. One moment I applaud myself for not taking things too personally, not projecting the past, and allowing myself to eat when I want to eat without telling myself I’m not worthy.Continue reading “Poetry Series – Too Fat”

Poetry Series – Sarah

I’ve reached a point where I’m halted. There’s this brick wall of shame, guilt, and fear that I desperately need to smash down. Shame is connected to who we are, guilt is connected to what we do, and fear is connected to what’s to come. Brick by brick, confession by confession, taking the time toContinue reading “Poetry Series – Sarah”

Relation-ship

In relation to a ship, I’m ready to jump, always. I’m used to the flow of not knowing what to expect. The water will pull me to the next place as long as I’m not tethered to this structure. I hear structure is good, though. I hear we need stability in our life. Coach. CoachContinue reading “Relation-ship”

Faces

The faces in the reflections are never the same faces as in the trees, clouds, leaves. The faces in the reflections are always looking back, looking at me, emotion heavily present across their face but the faces aren’t me. Reflections aren’t just for mirrors. I see them in the windows, on the shiny surface ofContinue reading “Faces”

Writing

Not writing feels like lying, even if only by omission. Not writing feels like I’m hiding. Have you ever played hide and seek with someone that’s terrible at seeking? Hiding parts of yourself. You get bored. Stir crazy. You start moving around, peeking around the corner of the barricade to see if they’re even close.Continue reading “Writing”

Poetry Series – Noses

I find that in the moments of my greatest instability, I am brought back almost always by my ability to find the simple experiences in life I can hold on to. When I remember that it’s important to breathe deeply as I let my body heal, I fixate and a rush of all of theContinue reading “Poetry Series – Noses”