The Way it Looked to Me – Pt 11 – Movies

I promised myself that I wouldn’t set aside my own comfort just to give in to that of others anymore. I’m not sure if the point in which that decision was made was a catalyst that started drawing those opportunities to the forefront like rapid-fire, ready to test my conviction, or if I simply becameContinue reading “The Way it Looked to Me – Pt 11 – Movies”

Poetry Series – Protector

January 2021, “I don’t regret ever trusting anyone” was cut out and carefully glued right atop the space my heart should sit in my picture on my vision board. In the moments that I find my body having a physiological reaction in response to someone, I pull that quote into the forefront of my mindContinue reading “Poetry Series – Protector”

Sexuality

Some part of me insists on being ashamed that sex and my sexuality have played such a major role in my life. I wonder if it’s simply the fact that I’m a woman and our sexuality is hushed and muted unless it’s for someone else’s pleasure or perhaps it’s something more specific to me thanContinue reading “Sexuality”

The Way it Looked to Me- Pt 10 Jello Salad

They say that laughter is the best medicine. When a baby laughs, usually it’s enough to dose anyone within earshot. Baby laughs are always genuine, harmless. By the time school-age is reached, not all laughter feels good. The howls and giggles erupting around you when you’re the butt of a joke seem to be theContinue reading “The Way it Looked to Me- Pt 10 Jello Salad”

Poetry Series – Boyish

How often do you find yourself shifting focus based on new information? This doesn’t have to come in the form of anything major or groundbreaking. There are subtle messages we pick up as we go through our day-to-day life. Recently, listening to Untamed by Glennon Doyle, the idea of impermanence came up. The message wasContinue reading “Poetry Series – Boyish”

Unresponsive

Medical triage; when being trained to respond to disasters and mass casualty situations a system of colored tags is used to mark the victims. For a long time, I thought it was only red, yellow, and green tags. What this means is that there are people I should have marked with black tags long beforeContinue reading “Unresponsive”

The Way it Looked to Me – Part Nine

I’m still working out a lot of lingering judgments. I grew up around people that would talk shit for sport and being the competitive person that I am, naturally, I wanted to be the best in the game. My eyes became trained to scan a person and look for weak spots, anything “off”. Anything toContinue reading “The Way it Looked to Me – Part Nine”

The Way it Looked to Me – Part Eight

I’ve gone back and forth for years trying to decide if a first experience needs to come with a warning. I used to put warning labels on everything – “You know I’m a big girl, right?”, before a first date made possible by the world of online dating. Now I just warn people that I’mContinue reading “The Way it Looked to Me – Part Eight”

Poetry Series – Patience

It’s incredibly rare that we understand the extent to which a person will impact us when they come into our lives. The intentions we went into a situation with may drastically differ from what develops. When being unhealthy, I used my ability to adapt as a tool in people-pleasing. Now that I’m working on healing,Continue reading “Poetry Series – Patience”

The Way it Looked to Me – Part Seven

The journey to self-acceptance is a funny one. I’ve struggled with myself a lot over the years – my mind, my weight, my voice, my purpose. There are times I would think I overcame an obstacle only to find myself grappling with it again a few months later. Our journeys are never linear and sometimesContinue reading “The Way it Looked to Me – Part Seven”