I would have argued that calling something a sin is the surest way to draw someone to it. I’ve always had this tendency to do the things I was told not to. Often it’s the idea that people that give off an illusion of being well-intentioned are often hiding more sinister, selfish, motives. I start questioning what they’re keeping for themselves.
Now, I’ll acknowledge, that it’s called sin because they’re speaking from experiences. Some things are so good you have to stay away, lest they overcome you. Maybe I won’t be banished to hell for all eternity but I will remain here, stuck, indulging but never satisfied. Sin, an indicator of not enough.
Pride, I would have argued, shouldn’t count as sin. Is it not an indicator of something gone right? Now, I’ll acknowledge that everything has a time and place. Sometimes the time and place for the best things have the narrowest window. So, pride, has it’s place in being acknowledged and released. Only when it’s held onto, boasted, does it become debilitating. Even the best things, often, require a goodbye. Only when they’re for you, meant to stay, will they come back.
Proudest Anniversary
My body knows anniversaries far better than my calendar ever could.
November 27th
my stomach will churn
I’ll get ready to barf
wake me up, anxiety
as I toggle between
feeling victorious
and torn apart, weakness
my trust will fade
in self, in you, in universe
can I heal
before this anniversary
call it a gift
to myself
year one
or should we call it eight
but year one
being proud
walking away
just a little too late
congratulations
on making it
to destruction
take your time
use the best materials
you’ll rebuild
structured
I won’t even recognize you
I hope
but I’ll be proud
of myself
of you
we made it
to our end
Much love, until next time.
Madeline May I... 